Beyond Burnout: A 4-Step Guide to Navigating the Identity Crisis You Didn't See Coming
There's something both haunting and liberating about arriving at a breaking point.
There's a myth that we need to hit rock bottom to start a transformative journey. But why wait for the bottom when you can choose to change now?
The pandemic didn’t just disrupt our routines; it threw us into a full-blown identity crisis, especially for women-it was like flipping on a harsh spotlight, illuminating systemic flaws and individual struggles. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill burnout.
These past years, the world didn’t just change; it turned upside down, especially for us women. We didn't face typical burnout. Oh no, this was the soul-crushing kind, born from juggling careers, kids, and, well, keeping sane during endless Zoom calls.
Gone are the days of grinding away aimlessly. Many of you are exhausted, stuck in the emotional tug of war for the last few years, caught between the two extremes of our society's expectations: "Hustle, hustle, hustle" and "Don't forget self-care!" It's draining and confusing.
With the societal narrative directing you towards burnout while shaming you for not embracing "self-care," it's no surprise that a vast majority of us feel disconnected, lost, and unfulfilled. This post isn't just a rundown of problems; it’s your roadmap for the journey from burnout to what I call 'rewilding your soul.'
Your Awakening: The World’s Wake-up Call
When the world halted, and routines crumbled, it wasn't just a disruption; it was a Universal invitation to confront our true selves.
You see the universe has a way of pulling the rug out from under us when we get too absorbed in unhealthy trends and COVID-19 served as a reset button, forcing us to reevaluate our priorities.
The universe, in its mysterious wisdom, decided we needed a reality check, a jolt to awaken us from our autopilot existence-it was the universe's way of saying, "Enough."
Enough with the hustle culture, enough with the toxic positivity, and enough with being everything to everyone but yourself.
Suddenly, alone with our thoughts, we began to really listen to that inner voice that we'd been shushing for too long. It asked us tough questions, made us face our fears, and dared us to want more.
Emotional Tolls: The Dark Side of "Having It All"
"Having it all" sounded great until we realized it meant "handling it all." And during the pandemic? That translated to "handling all the stress." We were home but scattered, trying to be everything for everyone.
And in those quiet moments, we faced our shadow selves—the deep, dark emotions we’d buried. It was scary, lonely, and eye-opening all at once.
It's been a period of confronting the patriarchal wounds ingrained in us, the invisible scars left by a world that has systemically silenced women’s voices and suppressed the divine feminine power within our inner wisdom and intuition.
These revelations, while unsettling, have been instrumental in recognizing self-sabotaging patterns, limiting beliefs, and the emotional barricades that have kept us from our true potential. They’ve highlighted the urgent need to discard myths and misconceptions that have long confined us.
Beyond Burnout: The Unspoken Crisis
In the middle of this inner turmoil, society presented a neatly-wrapped solution: self-care. Yet, the version of self-care that was sold to us felt superficial, not given us the help we needed for the problems that were deep at our core- drink more water, indulge in bubble baths, follow a skincare routine — these acts, while nurturing, seemed almost frivolous.
And the worst part? Failing at self-care felt like another thing we couldn't get right.
Peeling Back the Layers: The Root of Your Societal ‘Burn Out’ Diagnosis
This isn't about job stress. This is about life stress. About wanting work that feeds our souls and our bank accounts. About craving depth, meaning, connection.
We're not just leaving jobs; we're seeking lives that resonate with who we are, who we're meant to be.
In this collective awakening, we're bravely peeling back the layers, questioning old paradigms, and daring to dream of possibilities that honor our whole selves.
And perhaps, in this bold questioning and seeking, we'll find not just better careers, but better lives — lives that resonate with the very essence of who we are and who we wish to become.
The Death of Your Old Self & Why it Scares People
As a therapist, I’ve have had the privilege of working with incredible women who have felt this shift intensely. I've seen a growing wave of women seeking therapy with the same story: They want more than just to "get by." They're asking the big questions: “There has to be more to life, right?” and "What is it that I want?"
These women are seeking more than just surface-level contentment. They're yearning for a sense of genuine fulfillment, a connection to their inner selves. Women are increasingly saying, "I want to KNOW who I truly am."
So gone are the days of catchy self-care mantras, ‘take a deep breath’ one-liners and Instagram quotes.
We need real, actionable understanding of our emotional landscapes. What are your triggers? What old wounds need healing? What thought patterns need breaking? We need strategies that go beyond superficiality, that genuinely build resilience and self-empowerment.
Now women are digging deep, seeking fulfillment, wanting to know their true selves.
And that terrifies people. Because a woman who knows and owns her power? She doesn't fit into neat little societal boxes.
These women are breaking society's mold, challenging the expected narrative and reclaiming her innate power- stepping into a chapter of powerful rewilding and rebirth.
(Sneak peek: YOU CAN BE ONE OF THEM!)
Embracing Uncertainty in Rewilding & Rebirth
We're at the brink of something extraordinary. It's time to shed the old, embrace the uncertainty, and rewild ourselves. Not to go back, but to move forward as stronger, wiser, more vibrant versions of ourselves.
You see, rebirth is not about discarding our past or our experiences. It is about integrating them into our present, using them to become the best versions of ourselves. Now is the time to release what no longer serves us—whether that be relationships, jobs, or thought patterns.
This rebirth is not an end but a new path. You might find yourself with more questions than answers, and that's okay.
Yes, it's unknown. Yes, it's scary. But in that uncertainty lies true freedom—the freedom to create a life you love, down to its core.
So, how do you get from here to there?
You start by asking yourself the tough questions. Is it going to be easy? Hell no- uncertainty never is, but in that uncertainty lies the freedom to create a life you don’t need an escape from.
How to Rewild Your Emotional Landscape: 4 Essential Steps
If you're struggling with emotional chaos, self-doubt, or feeling stuck, these steps are your roadmap for emotional rewilding. Here's your tangible takeaway guide:
The Silent Scriptwriters: Recognizing and Reclaiming Emotional Narratives
Rewilding Shift:
Emotional wounds are not just remnants of your past; they're the silent scriptwriters of your present behaviors and reactions. While you didn't choose these wounds, you do have a choice in how they define you moving forward. Acknowledging them sets the stage for reclaiming the narrative you live by.
How It’s Showing Up in Your Daily Life:
You find yourself overreacting to certain comments or situations, not realizing these triggers are tied to old wounds. For example, a casual remark from a friend about your appearance or capabilities may throw you into a spiral of self-doubt and anxiety.
Your Rewilding Journey:
You start recognizing these triggers for what they are: echoes of past emotional wounds. Instead of allowing them to set your emotional tone, you use them as signals to delve deeper into understanding yourself. When triggered, you take a moment to ask, "Why does this affect me so much?" This understanding defuses the emotional charge and allows you to respond more authentically and constructively.
Your New Path:
Armed with this deeper self-insight, you start to rewrite the script. You turn emotional triggers into opportunities for introspection and growth, transforming them from pitfalls into pathways for a more authentic, emotionally balanced life.
The Unseen Primal Alarms: Decoding Emotional Triggers and Responses
Rewilding Shift:
Your emotional triggers aren't random; they're your psyche's alarm system. Understanding this helps you respond to emotional triggers not with immediate reaction, but with thoughtful action. You become curious about these triggers, understanding that they point to areas within you that require attention and healing.
How It’s Showing Up in Your Daily Life:
A co-worker's critical feedback sends you into a fit of defensiveness, or perhaps you find yourself lashing out when someone questions your judgment. These strong reactions may seem disproportionate to the situation at hand.
Your Rewilding Journey:
You begin to see these triggers as a hidden alarm system. When they go off, instead of going into a fight-or-flight response, you pause and introspect. You start to question, "What is this reaction telling me about my own insecurities or unmet needs?" This shift moves you from being reactive to proactive, providing you the space to heal and grow.
Your New Path:
With this heightened self-awareness, you pivot from being reactive to proactive. You learn to treat each trigger as a moment of introspection, giving you the opportunity not only to understand but also to heal and grow. This turns your emotional triggers and responses from obstacles into catalysts for personal growth and emotional well-being.
Quiet Echoes: Reframing the Inner Critic and Limiting Beliefs
Rewilding Shift:
Your inner critic isn't the ultimate authority on your worth; it's a collection of external judgments and self-imposed standards that you've internalized over time. Understanding this can help you shift from treating your inner critic as an immutable truth to viewing it as an opinion—one that can be questioned and rewritten.
How It’s Showing Up in Your Daily Life:
Whenever you're about to take a meaningful step forward, that nagging voice of self-doubt whispers or even shouts that you're not capable, smart, or worthy enough. This might cause you to shy away from opportunities or settle for less than you deserve. For example, you may not sign up for a workshop you're interested in because your inner critic convinces you that you're not "expert enough" to participate.
Your Rewilding Journey:
Instead of allowing that voice to dictate your choices, you start to interrogate it. You challenge its assumptions with questions like, "Is this really true?" or "What evidence do I have that contradicts this?" By scrutinizing your inner critic, you deflate its power over you, giving space for a more supportive and realistic inner dialogue.
Your New Path:
Over time, this more constructive inner voice helps you take brave steps forward and you become more daring in your actions and decisions. Whether it’s joining that intriguing workshop, pursuing a career change, or opening yourself up to love, you do it not from a place of doubt but from a renewed sense of self-worth and possibility.
Untangling Survival Knots: Rethinking Self-Sabotage and Breaking Free
Rewilding Shift:
You might have thought that binging Netflix and food, or overplanning every aspect of your life, were just quirks or habits. But these are actually safety behaviors, deeply ingrained ways of coping with stress and anxiety. They may have once served a purpose, perhaps giving you a sense of control in a chaotic situation or numbing emotions that felt too overwhelming to face. However, they've overstayed their welcome and are now contributing to your perpetual state of stress, anxiety, and worry.
How It’s Showing Up in Your Daily Life:
You find yourself on the couch after a hard day, not just watching one episode of a Netflix show but binging an entire season. Or you spend hours planning out every minute detail of your upcoming week, unable to relax until you do. You tell yourself it's your way to unwind or stay in control, but deep down, it leaves you feeling even more drained and anxious.
Your Rewilding Journey:
Acknowledging these behaviors as what they really are—outdated coping mechanisms—gives you the power to change. Instead of an evening spent binge-watching or hyper-planning, you might choose to engage in activities that genuinely enrich your life and emotional well-being. Maybe you take up a hobby that you've put off or spend quality time with loved ones. As you choose more constructive ways to cope, you'll notice your levels of anxiety and stress start to decrease, replaced by a sense of control that's grounded in self-awareness and self-love.
Your New Path:
With this newfound understanding, you're in a better position to make conscious choices. Instead of relying on old habits that no longer serve you, you adopt practical strategies that genuinely improve your emotional well-being. By doing so, you break the cycle of stress and anxiety, making way for a more balanced and satisfying life.
By embracing these shifts, you're not just putting a Band-Aid on a wound or taking a bubble bath when you need a waterfall to quench your soul- you're digging deep to understand their roots. This way, you don't just survive; you thrive.
Ready to Answer the Universe’s Wake-Up Call?
As you read this, I hope you feel it deep in your bones. I hope you realize that the struggle and the pain are not your life sentence but your awakening.
If what you’ve read resonates with you, then you're already on the path to change.
You've had a glimpse into breaking free from emotional traps, confronting societal 'shoulds,' and actually listening to yourself. It's time to release the heaviness that has been dimming your light and to reclaim your luminous soul.
The universe has delivered its wake-up call; are you ready to answer?
Stay tuned, because I have something very special coming up that's the culmination of all this growth, change, and newfound joy. I can't wait to share it with you.
In the meantime, let’s honor our journey, however imperfect, because it's uniquely ours and it's taking us somewhere beautiful.
