Wounded to Worthy: Overcome Mother Wounds, Abandonment, & Trust Issues to Create Secure Attachments Using Inner Child Work
Ever feel like you're trying to be everything for everyone, and somehow, you're still not hitting the mark?
Like you're stretched tighter than yoga pants on laundry day?
I totally get it. You're running around, juggling a million things, and trying to meet this insane standard you've set for yourself. It's like you're living in two worlds— one where you're never enough and the other where you're just plain too much.
You're that go-to person, the one who bends over backwards until you're about to snap.
Always chasing that little 'atta girl' or that quick moment when everything seems to fit right in.
And let's talk about the mind games. Are you the queen of overthinking?
Thinking so hard that your brain feels like it's going to pop?
You're stuck on the 'what ifs' so much that 'what is' doesn’t even get a look in.
This isn't just some random phase. Nope. It's like your past is tapping you on the shoulder, reminding you of stuff you thought you'd locked away.
You've got these scars, emotional ones, that no one else can see.
They come from places like a harsh word from mom that stuck or that feeling of being ditched, left in the dust while everyone else moves on.
And let's be real, trust is just not your thing. It's like trying to read a menu in another language—frustrating, right?
It's in your face all the time. When you're with your friends, and you can't shake the feeling that you're the odd one out. When love gets messy because you're dancing to a tune that keeps tripping you up. Or when you look in the mirror and the person staring back is a stranger.
So let's get down to it. We're talking about the nitty-gritty, the stuff that's made you who you are—yeah, even the uncomfortable bits. The parts of you that you think no one sees?
They're the chapters of your story that matter most.
Remember, it's not about being too much or not enough—it's about being you, all of you, scars and all.
Let's start there.
Are You Carrying a Wounded Inner Child That's Keeping You Stuck?
We've all got our baggage, some pieces heavier than others. And for many of us, the heaviest case is the one we’ve been dragging around since we were kids. No, you're not being dramatic, and it's not all in your head. Your inner child might be wounded, and it’s worth a pause and a close look. Because if you're feeling stuck, it could very well be what's holding you back.
Here's how you can tell:
You feel there's something off about you, like you’re always on the outside looking in.
You can’t say 'no' without feeling guilty, as if you're responsible for everyone else's happiness but your own.
Arguments give you a rush; it's like you’re not yourself unless you’re up against someone or something and feels like confirmation that you exist.
You hold onto stuff, because letting go feels like you’re losing a part of yourself.
Trying something new sends your anxiety through the roof, and it’s not the exciting kind.
Boundaries? You know you should have them, but it feels wrong whenever you try.
You’ve got a list of achievements, but each one just piles on more pressure instead of pride.
If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough – that’s your standard.
Finishing what you start feels impossible. You’re great at the ideas part, but following through is another story.
You’re your own worst enemy. Self-criticism is your default mode; you’re your own toughest critic, and you pick apart every mistake .
Emotions are enemies in disguise; better not let them show because showing your true feelings feels unsafe, like you’re just setting yourself up to be mocked.
You’re uncomfortable in your own skin. Your body’s a stranger, and not the kind you want to get to know.
Trusting people feels like a risk, you’re not ready to take. Why bother when you expect to be let down?
Conflict is your cue to check out, you’d rather walk away than face it.
Abandonment feels like an inevitable end, so you’re always bracing for it- it’s a when, not an if.
If these hit home, it’s likely your inner child is sending you a signal. It’s not about identifying with everything, but if these statements feel familiar, it might be time to start a conversation with that part of you that’s been sidelined.
Healing begins with noticing these signs and deciding to unpack that old suitcase you've been carrying. It's about making space for the child you once were in the life of the adult you are now.
How Inner Child Wounds Influence Attachment Styles
Each core wound not only shapes how we attach to others but also spills over into various facets of our lives.
By understanding the roots, we can see the branches spread into our daily lives, relationships, parenting styles, professional environments, and self-perception.
Abandonment Wounds ➔ Anxious Attachment
Feeling left out ➔ Clinging TighterWhat It Looks Like:
In Relationships: A pattern of reaching out, double-texting, needing frequent reassurance.
Your friend cancels last-minute on a coffee date, and while it's a common occurrence, for you, it feels like a personal letdown. You're left wondering if you said something wrong or if they're avoiding you.
In Romantic Relationships: Your other half is just not into it today, and your head's telling you they're checking out of the relationship.
When your partner seems distant or preoccupied, your mind races, fearing the worst. You might overcompensate by being overly affectionate or seeking constant affirmation that they still care.
At Work: You're hunting down feedback, scared of being forgotten if you're not front and center.
If a supervisor doesn't immediately respond to an email or acknowledges everyone's contributions but yours, you feel a disproportionate sense of anxiety and start doubting your place in the team.
In Parenting: Overcompensating with presence, fearing to give your child the same feeling of being left.
With your kids, you're there—all in—maybe too much, 'cause you never want them to feel that sting of loneliness.
In Your Mind: Internal dialogue that questions your worthiness of steadfast love and support.
Looking at yourself, you're asking, "Am I someone people stick around for?"
Where It Stems From:
This usually trails back to early days when a parent or someone we counted on was hit-or-miss, or left entirely, leaving a lasting imprint of uncertainty.
How It Holds Us Back:
Keeps us in a state of tension, preventing us from enjoying stability and independence. It makes us unable to savor those calm, “I got this” moments.
First Step to Address It:
Recognize the signs of anxiety-driven behaviors and consciously practice self-reassurance techniques.
Rejection Wounds ➔ Avoidant Attachment
Fear of being tossed aside ➔ Keeping your guard upWhat It Looks Like:
In Relationships: You love 'me time'—maybe a little too much—keeping friends and others at arm's length to dodge the hurt of "It's not you, it's me."
When a friend gets too close or wants to hang out frequently, you find excuses to keep your distance, not because you don't enjoy their company, but because you're guarding against becoming too vulnerable.
In Romantic Relationships: You've got your heart on lockdown, always ready for the other shoe to drop.
Dating's a game of 'find the fault' and bail before you can get dumped.
At Work: Not applying for promotions or new opportunities to avoid the potential of a 'no'
You tend to stick to the outskirts of the room during professional gatherings, preferring to observe rather than risk introducing yourself and not being remembered or, worse, dismissed.
In Parenting: Struggling to fully engage or showing affection out of fear of not being reciprocated.
As a parent, you hold back on the hugs, scared they might not hug you back.
In Your Mind: A guarded heart, often feeling on edge about opening up to others.
You avoid new stuff and people like it's a dodgeball game and you're the target—'cause what if you flop or they let me down too?
Where It Stems From:
Rooted in past experiences of being turned down or feeling unwanted, whether in familial settings, friendships, or romantic connections.
How It Holds Us Back:
It's like you're living in a fortress—safe, but solo, shutting out not just the pain but also the good stuff.
First Step to Address It:
Challenge your self-protective instincts by taking risks in opening up to trusted individuals- Start small—share a little, and see how it feels when someone gets you.
Humiliation Wounds ➔ Disorganized Attachment
Sting of shame➔ Pushing and pullingWhat It Looks Like:
In Relationships: You're the wildcard in your crew, the life of the party, or the ghost who doesn't answer texts for days.
When a friend teases you in the group chat, it's like a punch to the gut, even if they're just playing around.
In Romantic Relationships: Push-pull dynamics, craving closeness then feeling unworthy of it.
In relationships, you're hot and cold—one minute you're all in, the next, you feel like you're not worth their time.
At Work: A reluctance to share ideas or speak up, for fear of ridicule.
Sitting in a meeting, you're quiet as a mouse, haunted by that one time you spoke up and got shot down.
In Parenting: An overemphasis on your child's achievements as a reflection of your worth. When your kid wins at something, it's like you both won the lottery.
You're overly anxious before meeting with your child's teacher, worried they'll imply you're not doing a good enough job at home, stirring up old feelings of not being good enough.
In Your Mind: Your inner voice? It's like a drill sergeant that's never impressed- relentless inner critic that scrutinizes every mistake..
You rarely post personal achievements or photos online, even when you're proud of them, for fear of being judged or not getting enough likes, which you fear would confirm your feelings of unworthiness.
Where It Stems From:
Stemming from moments of intense embarrassment or feeling exposed, which often originate in childhood or adolescence. Those childhood burns, the teasing that went too far, or when you took a brave step and got laughed back to your seat—it's left you with a patchwork approach to how you vibe with others.
How It Holds Us Back:
It scatters our approach to connection, leaving us uncertain of our place in others' lives. It’s tough to find your footing when the ground feels like it’s always shifting, especially when laughs at your expense in the past mean you’re waiting for the next hit to your pride.
First Step to Address It:
Start by breathing through the teases and the tension. Spot the pattern, and gently remind yourself not everyone's out to get you. Give yourself permission to step back when you need to, without disappearing.
Betrayal Wounds ➔ Avoidant/Disorganized Attachment
Difficulty trusting ➔ Staying soloWhat It Looks Like:
In Relationships: In relationships, you're all about that personal space—like, a lot of it.
A friend confides in you, but you're hesitant to share your own secrets, believing that people are prone to betray confidences, even though this friend has never given you a reason to think they would.
In Romantic Relationships: An arm's length approach, even with significant others.
In the friend zone, you're always one step out the door, ready to leave before you're left or you're quick to find fault, prepping for the part where they skip out.
At Work: Reluctance to delegate or rely on team members.
Someone offers to help you with a project, but you decline, even if you're drowning in work. You can't shake the belief that relying on others will inevitably lead to disappointment.
In Parenting: Difficulty in fully entrusting your child to others’ care or guidance.
Parenting means trying to do it all solo, 'cause what if you drop your kid off and someone else does something wrong to them or lets them down?
In Your Mind: You're side-eyeing everyone's intentions, thinking promises are made to be broken.
Your mind's a maze of "What if they let me down?" thoughts, which keeps others out.
Where It Stems From:
Born from the sharp sting of being let down or deceived, especially by someone trusted. Bubbled up from those letdowns that left you thinking it's safer not to rely on anyone.
How It Holds Us Back:
It's lonely, this road of solo travel, always waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under you. It’s safe yet isolated, limiting our ability to build a supportive network.
First Step to Address It:
Begin rebuilding trust by granting small, low stakes acts of trust and observing the outcomes—lend a book, ask a favor. It's scary but stick with it to see trust can be a two-way street.
Injustice ➔ Anxious/Avoidant Attachment
Feeling overlooked ➔ Guarded Balancer What It Looks Like:
In Relationships: A quickness to spot imbalances in give-and-take.
You've got a radar for when things aren't split evenly, like when you're the one always reaching out or making plans.
In Romantic Relationships: You're always the planner, the one who checks in, the organizer of dates, and the keeper of all the little details that make a relationship run smooth- you oscillate between voicing your dissatisfaction and just doing the work to avoid conflict.
Imagine you're always the one making the dinner plans or sending the good morning texts. After a while, it feels lopsided, like you're investing more into the relationship. It leaves a sour taste, right?
At Work: Vigilance about equity and recognition, a readiness to speak up against perceived injustices.
You've noticed that a coworker always seems to get credit for your joint efforts. The injustice burns, but instead of confronting it, you throw yourself into work even more or detach, thinking you can't rely on fairness.
In Parenting: Hyper-awareness of fair treatment among siblings or in school settings.
You're on high alert to make sure each kid feels equally seen, even if it means you're constantly on the referee whistle.
In Your Mind: Resilience mixed with wariness, a shield against further injustice- sensitivity to fairness, often feeling slighted by everyday inequities.
You're tough, sure, but always braced for the next curveball. It's like you're wearing invisible armor.
Where It Stems From:
Arises from experiences of unfair treatment, discrimination, or blatant disregard for one's rights or feelings. It grows from those times you've been overlooked or shortchanged, making you feel like you don't quite measure up in the fairness department.
How It Holds Us Back:
It can create a lens of suspicion, viewing interactions as transactions where you might be shortchanged. This sense of always getting the short end of the stick can make you second-guess people's motives, always on guard for the next letdown.
First Step to Address It:
Start by giving voice to your feelings when things don't seem right. Use that keen sense for justice to stand up for yourself and others, but in a way that builds bridges, not walls.
Start Healing Your Inner Child Wounds- You Won’t Regret it!
Addressing these wounds is not about pointing out what's broken; it's about understanding the cracks so we can let the light of healing in. You've reached the end of the road, the point where we stop, take a breath, and look back at the trail we've just traveled.
You've got the map in hand—the signs and signals of wounds from times past that are pulling strings in your life today. We've dived into the nitty-gritty, peeled back the layers, and yeah, it's been tough. But, know this: You're not alone on this path, not by a long shot.
Feeling stretched thin, overthinking until your brain buzzes, grappling with the silent echoes of harsh words or the ghost of abandonment—they're more than just fleeting shadows. They are signs, whispers of your inner child calling for attention, for healing.
Now, it's time for the most critical step…
Choosing to heal, to pick up that old suitcase of wounds and sort through it piece by piece. It's not about discarding the contents; it's about understanding them, folding each memory and hurt with care, and tucking them into places of learning and growth.
It's about transforming those wounds into wisdom, that anxiety into awareness, and those doubts into a dance of self-compassion.
This isn't about fixing what's 'broken'—because you're not broken. It's about finding the wounded parts of you and giving them a voice, a place at the table in your life's conference room.
Grab my FREE Emotional Wound Guide & Start Healing Your Inner Child Wounds Right Now!
You’re fed up with the mental reruns of 'what if' and 'should have.’ You feel like you need to make things 'just right' and it ends up making you feel all wrong.
It's time to explore what's really going on underneath all that noise.This guide isn’t a magic cure. It’s better.
It's real talk for real struggles — like feeling too much and not enough at the same time.
It's for you, who’s had enough of the anxiety, the perfectionism, and the never-ending loop of second-guessing.
➡️ Download Your Free Guide & Start Changing the Script
Say goodbye to feeling stuck and hello to understanding your triggers.
Discover how to stop your emotions from calling all the shots and learn ways to deal with those deep-rooted inner child wounds.
No more getting tripped up by the past or being afraid of the future.
It's about finding your way back to the ‘REAL YOU’ with the RIGHT map.
