Shattering the ‘Hot Mess’ Myth: A Millennial & Gen-Z Woman’s Blueprint to Repressed Emotions
In the hustle of daily life, amidst the noise of endless to-dos and societal pressures, it's easy to feel like we're losing ourselves.
Let's cut to the chase: life's tough, especially when you're juggling a million things and feeling like you're getting nowhere.
For millennial and Gen-Z women stuck in a whirlwind of emotions, it often feels like you're the only one struggling.
But trust me, you're not alone. As a therapist and someone who's been through the wringer herself, I get it.
This isn't about cliché self-help fluff. It's about real, practical steps to untangle those complex emotions and find your footing.
It's More Than Just a Bad Day
We've all had those moments – snapping at someone we love, feeling worthless, or being trapped in a maze of our own thoughts.
These aren't just bad days; they're signs pointing to something deeper.
And let's face it, we're often too busy or scared to listen.
Straight Talk on Emotional Health
Emotional honesty? It's tough.
I've been there, using busyness as an armor, thinking I could just 'power through.' But life threw me a curveball – my dad's cancer diagnosis in 2020 – and that changed everything. It showed me that real strength isn't about ignoring feelings; it's about facing them, as raw and scary as they may be.
As a therapist with over a decade of experience, I thought I knew all about managing feelings-I had always approached emotions as something to be managed, analyzed, and understood from a distance.
Yet, facing my dad's battle, I found myself defaulting to distraction and avoidance. We talked about everything BUT what mattered most, using distractions to avoid the pain. This experience, painful as it was, opened my eyes to the reality that emotional strength isn't about hiding or suppressing feelings but about facing them head-on, no matter how uncomfortable.
In my years of helping women, I've seen it all. The 'I'm fine' smile that's anything but fine. The 'overthinker' or 'perfectionist' labels used as shields.
Your emotions aren't random; they're responses to what life throws at you.Understanding this emotional language means decoding these responses and uncovering the deeper issues they signal.
Anxiety might be a messenger of unresolved fears.
Perfectionism might be a defense against deep-seated insecurities.
From Personal Experience to Professional Insight
Facing my dad's illness was a reality check. I learned that avoiding emotions doesn't make them go away; it just makes them louder.
It's a lesson many of us, especially women, learn the hard way. We're so good at playing strong that we often ignore the very feelings that need our attention.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards real healing.
Understanding the Language of Emotions: How to Pay Attention to Their Meaning
Think of your emotions as clues rather than burdens. Your emotional reactions – the flash of anger, the morning anxiety – aren't just random. They’re messages from within, nudging you to pay attention, understand, and eventually, let go. They're your body's complex language, communicating unresolved issues like abandonment, betrayal, or subconscious fears. Recognizing these patterns, like seeing anger as a possible 'safe' go-to emotion, is the first step in decoding your emotional reactions.
Many of us deal with anxiety, sadness, or even physical discomfort because we’ve been conditioned to ignore these vital signals.
But what if we chose to listen instead?
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, just ask yourself, "What’s going on with me right now?"
This self-inquiry is a powerful tool in understanding the emotional cues your body and mind are sending you- opening the door to better understanding yourself.
It’s not about deep, mysterious soul-searching.
It’s about acknowledging what you feel, why you might be feeling it, and what it tells you about your needs and wants. Emotions are your clues from your past, pointing towards unresolved issues.
The journey to healing begins with recognizing the root of our struggles. It's about peeling back the layers of societal expectations, learned behaviors, and personal traumas.
Do you find yourself constantly trying to please others, fearing judgment, or caught in the whirlwind of overthinking?
These are signs, signals from within, urging us to look deeper and instead of suppressing it’s so important that we PAY ATTENTION TO THEM!
Practical Steps to Start Processing Your Emotions
Navigating your emotions is like learning a new language – it's about understanding and responding to your inner signals.
This is why I know you need the steps that actually make a difference. It’s not about ‘finding your tribe’ or ‘embracing your journey’ – it's about concrete actions. Embracing emotions is more than acknowledging them; it's about actively engaging with them. This is where the REWILD Method comes in, a structured approach I developed to guide women through the process of emotional reconnection and healing.
Healing isn't just about understanding; it's about action.
Here are four steps you can use in your everyday life to get started on your healing journey:
Step 1. Spot Your Emotional Signal: Your emotions are trying to tell you something. Don't brush them off; listen.
This step is about acknowledging that your feelings are more than just reactions; they're meaningful messages from deep within you.This first step is crucial in acknowledging that your feelings are valid and worth exploring.
This also allows you to separate your emotions from yourself.
Step 2. Find the Source: Dig into what's setting off these feelings. It's often not what you think.
Use tools like journaling, voice recording, or even a quiet reflection to delve into the thoughts and events that triggered your emotion. What events, interactions, or memories sparked these feelings?
This exploration is not just surface-level analysis; it's a deep dive into your emotional triggers.
This is crucial for gaining insight into your emotional patterns.
Step 3. Question the Story: We all have stories we tell ourselves. Challenge them. Are they true, or just habits of thought?
Examine the stories and beliefs attached to your emotions. Are they rooted in reality, or are they skewed by past experiences and wounds?
Ask yourself if these narratives are genuinely accurate. This step involves challenging and potentially rewriting the internal scripts that dictate your emotional responses.
It’s about beginning to untangle the narratives we've built around our emotions.
Step 4. Feel It To Heal It: It sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes, the best thing to do is just feel what you're feeling.
Spend time with it, understand its essence, and let it pass through you without judgment. This process allows you to experience your emotions as natural and transient states, not as permanent parts of your identity.
Finally, allow yourself to fully feel and experience your emotions without judgment or an immediate push to 'fix' them.
This step is about creating space for your emotions, understanding them, and learning to coexist with them.
This isn't about 'finding your best self'
-it's about real-life tactics to deal with real-life messiness.
Navigating Our Unique Challenges: The Realities of Emotional Safety for Women
Finding a space where your emotions are actually heard and respected can be tough, especially when the world seems to be against you. But it's not impossible. It's about finding people who get it, who understand that sometimes, 'fine' really means 'I'm falling apart.'
In our exploration of emotions as guides, I don’t want to just gloss this critical aspect – the creation of emotional safety.
In a world where self-help advice often oversimplifies complex issues, it's essential to acknowledge the unique challenges women face in creating emotional safety, especially those from marginalized populations. We often hear generic advice about creating safe emotional spaces, but for many, this can feel like an overwhelming or even impossible task.
Systemic barriers, societal biases, and cultural pressures can make it harder to find or create spaces where our emotions are not just safe but also respected and validated. This reality doesn't diminish the importance of emotional safety; rather, it highlights the need for us to be even more intentional and supportive in our efforts to cultivate these spaces.
Acknowledging these complexities is not about painting a bleak picture; rather, it's about understanding the full scope of what emotional safety entails. It’s about recognizing that while the path might be fraught with unique challenges, it's also filled with potential for profound growth and resilience.
Creating emotional safety is about more than just finding a quiet space to reflect; it’s about carving out a zone where your feelings are acknowledged, your experiences are validated, and your voice is heard.
Empower Yourself to Heal: Mindset Shifts You Need to Make
This isn't about buzzwords like 'transformation' or 'self-discovery.' It's about understanding how the chaos in your head affects everything – from your relationships to your confidence. Your emotions aren't random; they're clues to a bigger picture.
🌱 Emotions are not fleeting states to be ignored.
They are integral to your identity, guiding you to understand your deepest fears, desires, and pains. Processing them is about understanding their language, bringing you closer to a life of authenticity and fulfillment.
🌱 Your childhood experiences significantly shape your emotional responses.
Emotions often get tied to significant events, leading to patterns of repression. Reconnecting with your childhood authenticity can be enlightening and transformational.
🌱 Capturing fleeting thoughts and dealing with emotions like waking anxiety can be challenging.
Developing strategies to slow down and process these fast-moving emotions is crucial for emotional clarity and healing.
🌱 Understanding that emotions are meant to inform, not instruct, can be a profound realization.
This perspective shift is a starting point for deeper self-awareness and emotional processing, teaching you to view emotions as guides rather than dictators of your actions.
🌱 The journey of emotional processing involves differentiating between perceptions and reality, especially with complex emotions like fear.
It's common to feel 'frozen' in certain emotional states, but acknowledging these struggles and being gentle with yourself is part of the healing process.
🌱 Understanding the difference in processing fear compared to anger is essential, as fear often has ties to real-world concerns.
Developing tailored strategies for different emotions is part of learning to manage and process them effectively.
The Path to Emotional Maturity
Forget the notion that being emotional is being weak. It's the exact opposite. Understanding and managing your emotions is probably the bravest thing you can do. It's not about never feeling low; it's about understanding why and what you can do about it.
Remember, you're not alone in this. It's okay to feel like a mess sometimes. What's important is taking steps to understand why and slowly, but surely, working through it. Because at the end of the day, it's not about being perfect; it's about being real.
Ready to Rewrite Your Story & Step Into Your Power?
If you've nodded along, feeling the weight of every word, it's clear you're ready for a change. A real one. That's why I'm inviting you to join the waitlist for an exclusive opportunity: The ReWild Your Emotions Beta 12 Week Intensive Group Coaching Program.
This isn't just another self-help spiel. This is about diving deep to untangle the emotional knots that keep you feeling stuck and unfulfilled. It's about stopping the cycle of overthinking and people-pleasing. It's about breaking free from the 'hot mess' label and stepping into a life fueled by passion and self-worth.
What's in Store for You?
🌱 Master Overwhelming Emotions: Get hands-on strategies to manage and transform your emotions, rather than being overpowered by them.
🌱 Change Unhealthy Patterns: Identify and shift the patterns that have kept you stuck, enabling you to move forward with confidence.
🌱 Set Boundaries: Learn how to stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries that respect your needs and values.
🌱 Live for Yourself: End the exhausting cycle of overthinking and start making choices that truly reflect who you are.
Join the waitlist now and be the first to know when enrollment opens in March. This is your chance to reshape your life, to move from feeling perpetually stuck to embracing a future filled with hope and excitement.
Who Is This For?
This program is tailor-made for women who see themselves in the struggles of overthinking, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, and constantly trying to meet others' expectations at the expense of their own needs. If you're tired of the same old coping strategies and ready to confront the root causes of your 'stuckness', this is for you.
Why This Program?
With 15+ years in the mental health field, I've lived these challenges – trauma, mother wounds, inner child wounds, and more. I've navigated toxic relationships, self-sabotage, and the feeling of losing myself. I've been where you are, and I've emerged with a framework that's not just based on professional knowledge but on real, lived experience.
The ReWild Journey
This intensive program is about more than just temporary fixes. It's a deep dive into understanding and transforming the emotional patterns that have held you back.
Limited spots are available for this transformative experience. If you're ready to break free from the cycle of self-doubt and emotional overload, to rediscover your true self and live a life of authenticity and joy, reserve your spot now.
Don't let another day pass in the shadow of what could be. Join the waitlist for the ReWild Your Emotions Beta 12 Week Intensive Group Coaching Program and start your journey towards a life where you're thriving, not just surviving.
